Saturday, June 30, 2012

Get Fashion Design Software and Design Clothes Like a Pro

Fashion designing is not all fun and glamor, but a little bit of technology can make it so much easier. A good fashion design software (computer aided) can help every type of designer -- even amateurs -- execute professional-looking designs. Thinking of using one? Here's a starter kit.

What exactly can a fashion design software can do for you?

Cyber Law

Although a computer program will not necessarily make you the next Chloe Dao or the next Santino Rice, it can help you expand your fashion creativity and help you design faster, so you can get more work done.

Get Fashion Design Software and Design Clothes Like a Pro

The best fashion design software allows you to play around with a range of colors, fabrics, and cuts, without necessarily having to buy the entire material. This allows you to save a lot of time and money, and allow you the freedom to experiment with different combinations without spending too much.

What should you look for in fashion design software?

Good clothing design software allows you to create 2d or 3d renders of your design for editing or experimenting. It also allows you to print, upload, and share the designs via email. Some software allow you to replicate real 3-D fabrics on the screen so that you can visualize them as close to reality as possible--and see your design in different colors and cuts. This type of software usually has a database of different fabrics, textures, and prints. Most of them also have update options that let you add new fabrics and patterns to your database.

Get Fashion Design Software and Design Clothes Like a Pro

Buying tips

Picky Guide has a complete guide to fashion design software. Picky Guide is one of the fastest growing online magazines giving free consumer advice and product information.

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Thursday, June 28, 2012

Reverse Email Search, Email Look Up, Email Trace - Whats the Difference?

Many people find them self in a situation where they need to locate or identify a person from an email address. The first thing they will do is go online and look for an email trace, reverse email search or email look up. What they will find as results will vary greatly from free instant online searches to email investigations that can run into thousands of dollars.

Lets take a look at the various service and get a working definition.

Cyber Law

REVERSE E-MAIL LOOKUP:
This is almost always a free instant online database search. You put the address into the appropriate field and hopefully it will return a name and address. Common free reverse email look ups are Whitepages.com and Bigfoot.com.

Reverse Email Search, Email Look Up, Email Trace - Whats the Difference?

REVERSE E-MAIL SEARCH:
This will usually pop up as an advertisement when your free reverse email look up fails. It's a paid search, usually around thirty to forty dollars. It is also an instant data base . This database will include "unlisted" email address information obtained from lists and online searches.

Reverse E-mail Trace:
A trace is a full investigation into the real identity of the person that sent the email. It is not instant although the investigation can often be completed quickly. It will often include a header trace and comparison. This will identify the actual person behind the email address and not just the fictitious information anyone can enter when opening a free anonymous e-mail account like Yahoo or Hotmail. An email trace is usually required when you are dealing with online harassment or defamation by a cyber stalker.

The information found in an email look up or reverse email search can be fictitious or made up information. It is also not reliable enough to be used in court where as a reverse email trace report can be used in court if provided by an experienced investigator recognized as an export in the field.

If you need an email trace report the prices can vary so be sure to investigate the investigator before hiring him. Do a quick Google search to see if the company you are hiring is recognized as a authority or expert in e-mail tracing before hiring them.

Reverse Email Search, Email Look Up, Email Trace - Whats the Difference?

Ed Opperman is the president of Opperman Investigations. He is considered an Email Tracing expert. If you need assistance with a revers email trace you can visit his web site. http://www.emailrevealer.com

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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Controversy Over Social Security - Part 1 - An Overview

The Social Security system has been mired in controversy from the time it was first proposed to the present day. The opposition and criticism has ranged from the most abstract academic discussion of its constitutionality to the most shrill and absurd proclamations about it being a step to Soviet-style Bolshevism.

Social Security is unique in that it has been constantly attacked from all sides and has still remained popular with most American's.

Cyber Law

Opposition from the right-wing of the American political spectrum has always revolved around two points: the interests of big business and populist opposition to the federal government in general.

Controversy Over Social Security - Part 1 - An Overview

Big business opposed Social Security because it imposed new taxes, new bookkeeping requirements and undermined the absolute dependence of the employees on the company. The populist opposition stems from the larger issue of state's rights that has been a constant theme in American politics since before the nation was even founded. The state's rights position is essentially that the individual states should have much more power and the federal government should be extremely limited.

Social security was obviously an enormous expansion of federal power and involvement throughout the country and as such was opposed by the state's rights advocates.

From the left-wing, the opposition first focused on the overtly discriminatory aspects of Social Security. As these concerns were steadily addressed, the criticism from the left tended to argue that Social Security was not doing enough and that it should be greatly expanded.

The original Social Security Act of 1935 reflected its time and focused most of its benefits on white men. The measures taken for women were predicated on the woman being unemployed and many benefits could only be received through male relatives. African-American's, Native-American's, and other national minorities were almost completely excluded at first.

Later, after these discriminatory measures were resolved, the emphasis changed to doing more. This includes measures to increase general benefits to efforts to get new medical conditions and subgroups of people included on the list of those that can receive benefits.

Opposition has also come from strictly pragmatic sources that are responding to their immediate self-interest as opposed to being led by political or ideological convictions. For example, prior to 1956 when the Disability Program was signed into law, the private insurance industry - that had a monopoly on disability insurance - campaigned and lobbied extensively against not just this measure, but the entire system. A more recent example was the Republican attempt to privatize SSA by transferring the funds held by the government to Wall Street investment firms. In order to justify this, it was necessary to demonize the government's administration of the funds. As this would have represented a massive windfall for the investment firms, they financed a massive national campaign portraying the Social Security Administration as inept, incompetent, and ineffective. The effort failed, but represented a pragmatic attack on Social Security by the investment firms as opposed to an ideologically driven one.

Social Security is, and always has been, a "hot-button" issue for many in the United States. The issue has always been surrounded by arguments, lawsuits, propaganda, and appeals to the public to demand change in one way or another. Many of these controversies have resulted in changes to the original system. In this series we will look at many of the controversies that have been simulated by the Social Security system and how they were resolved.

Controversy Over Social Security - Part 1 - An Overview

Wendy Polisi is one of the founders of Social Security Insider Secrets [http://www.socialsecurityinsidersecrets.com/category/social-security]. To find out more about social security retirement and social security disability benefits, please visit her at Social Security Insider Secrets.

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Monday, June 11, 2012

Radiology Medical Billing

Radiologists perform both interventional and non-interventional/non-invasive procedures. Interventional radiology procedures include diagnostic radiology imaging and ultrasound, while non-interventional procedures comprise standard radiographs, single or multiple views, contrast studies, computerized tomography and magnetic resonance imaging.

To get proper reimbursement for the procedures they perform, radiologists need to execute proper disease and diagnosis coding or ICD-9 coding (using three-digit codes that are modified by including a fourth or fifth digit as characters following a decimal point), and procedural coding using Current Procedural Terminology (CPT), comprising 5 digits with 2-digit modifiers. The procedure will be considered medically necessary only with a supporting ICD-9 diagnostic code. Sometimes multiple codes, such as radiological and surgical codes may become necessary to report a full procedure. Cardiology medical billers have to be thorough with radiology CPT codes that are bundled with other CPT codes. When billing for radiology services, 'upcoding' (coding a higher or more complex level of service than what was actually performed) has to be strictly avoided since this is regarded as fraud or abuse. Another important factor is to ensure whether the services require prior authorization to be properly reimbursed by the carrier.

Cyber Law

Radiology Codes

Radiology Medical Billing

Radiology codes comprise the 70,000 series of codes organized by the method or type of radiology and the purpose of the service. They are subdivided on the basis of the type of service and anatomical site.

These include:

• Diagnostic Radiology 70000 - 76499
• Diagnostic Ultrasound 76500 - 76999
• Radiologic Guidance 77001 - 77032
• Breast, Mammography 77051 - 77059
• Bone/Joint Studies 77071 - 77084
• Radiation Oncology 77261 - 77999
• Nuclear Medicine 78000 - 79999

Interventional radiologists use certain surgical codes to signify the procedures they perform. Some major surgical codes include the following:

• Mechanical Thrombectomy: 34201, 34421, 34490
• Biliary Drainage: 47510, 47511, 47530
• Cholecystostomy Tube Placement: 47490
• IVC Filter Placment: 37620
• Biliary Stone Removal: 47630

HCPCS Codes

Medical services and supplies that are not included in the CPT coding terminology are listed in the HCPCS (Healthcare Common Procedure Coding System procedural codes). These are represented by 1 letter (from A to V) followed by four digits. Numeric or alphanumeric modifiers can be used along with these codes to clarify a procedure.

Billing for Radiology Services

Radiological service can be billed for the physician's work as well as the use of equipment or supplies. The technical component (TC) includes facility charges, equipment, supplies, pre-/post injection services, staff and so on. The professional component (PC) involves studying and making inferences about the radiological test and submitting a written report with the findings. Modifiers are used to signify the technical and professional components in a radiological service. They are 2-digit numbers that are used to explain a procedure in more detail. They can indicate repeat or multiple procedures, such as radiographs performed bilaterally. When billing for the technical component only, the modifier 52 has to be used; when billing only for the professional component, the modifier 26 is to be used. In the latter case, a written report by the physician providing the services is required to avoid claim denial.

Some other examples of modifiers:

• -22 - unusual (increased) procedural service
• -32 - mandated services
• -51 - multiple procedures
• -66 - surgical team
• -76 - repeat procedure by same physician
• -77 - repeat procedure by another physician
• -LT, -RT, -TA to -T9, -FA to -F9, -LC, -LD, -RC - Anatomical modifiers

The global fee comprises the total payment due for the technical and professional components and this also requires a formal written report.

Billing for Professional Component

Physicians can bill for the professional component of radiology services provided for an individual patient in all settings regardless of the specialty of the physician who performs the service. Reimbursement will be given under the fee schedule for physician services. However, for radiology services provided to hospital patients, insurance carriers reimburse the professional component only under the following conditions:

• Services should meet the fee schedule conditions
• Services provided should be identifiable, direct and discrete diagnostic or therapeutic services given to an individual patient

Payment for the Technical Component

As regards the technical component or TC of radiology services furnished to hospital patients and to Skilled Nursing Facility (SNF) inpatients during a Part A covered stay, insurance carriers might not provide reimbursement. The fiscal intermediary (FI)/AB MAC makes the payment for the administrative/supervisory services offered by the physician, as well as for the provider services. The TC of radiology services offered for inpatients in hospitals, excluding CAHs or Critical Access Hospitals are included in the FIs/AB MAC payment to hospitals. In the case of hospital outpatients, radiology and related diagnostic services are reimbursed according to the Outpatient Prospective Payment System (OPPS) to the hospital. In the case of a SNF, the radiology services offered to its inpatients will be included in the SNF Prospective Payment System (PPS). For services offered for outpatients in SNFs, billing can be made by the provider of the service or by the SNF according to arrangements made with the provider. When the billing is made by the SNF, Medicare reimburses in accordance with the Medicare Physician Fee Schedule.

Radiology Billing Standards

Radiology services can be billed in a number of ways. Some of the services are split billable and the codes for these are separately reimbursed by different providers for the professional and technical component. The physician and the facility can bill for their respective component with modifiers 26, TC or ZS. In full fee billing, the physician bills for both the professional and technical components and makes the payment due to the facility for the technical component provided. In standard billing, the facility bills for both the professional and technical components and reimburses the physician for his professional component. Services that cannot be separately billed are not individually reimbursed for the professional or technical components. These codes are reimbursed only for one provider and must not be submitted with the 26, TC or ZS modifiers.

Assigning the Codes

• Medical documentation is carefully studied to identify the radiological service performed.
• Identify the anatomical site
• Find the terms in the CPT index
• Select the codes on the basis of radiology terminology
• See whether modifiers are to be assigned

The following skills are essential for accurate coding and billing for radiology services:

• Ability to review clinical issues and CPT, ICD-9 and HCPCS coding guidelines for interventional and non-interventional radiology
• Knowledge about the differences between diagnostic radiology codes and therapeutic interventional radiology codes
• Skill to review coding guidance for modifier usage with interventional radiology procedures
• Ability to code challenging case scenarios

Professional Coding Services for Accurate Billing and Coding

When it comes to coding, the radiologist faces two main issues: first, understatement of completed treatment could mean insufficient reimbursement; second, if the codes overstate the treatment, it could result in risk of abuse, repayments and fines. Another problem is the complicated and ever-changing directives with regard to CPT procedures.

Radiologists can resolve all these issues by going in for the services of professional medical coding companies. They have skilled CPT coders to do the job. With great attention to detail, in-depth knowledge of the coding system, application of basic coding principles, and thorough documentation, these companies offer accurate, customized and affordable radiology medical billing and coding services in quick turnaround time. Most of the professional companies utilize state-of-the-art billing software to guarantee efficiency and accuracy in billing and coding, for checking local coverage determination and so on to ensure that all claims are reimbursed.

Radiology Medical Billing

Radiology Medical Billing - Outsource Strategies International (OSI) is a leading medical billing company in the US committed to providing fast and efficient medical billing services.

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Saturday, June 9, 2012

Data Breach - What Are the Costs to Your Company?

The risks involved in corporate system and data breaches are numerous and costly, but new data is surfacing that is worth reporting on.

According to recent survey conducted by the Symantic Corp. and the Ponemon Institute, the average organizational cost of a data breach in 2010 was .2 million! You may think, well, that's just for large companies and you would be correct; but what they also reported was that the average cost per compromised record averaged 4!

Cyber Law

If you're a small business and have about 5,000 customers in your database that's just over million in expenses just to comply with state and federal laws and doesn't even begin to measure the costs associated with damage to your reputation or brand. That's a million dollars in costs that aren't likely covered by your business owner's insurance policy, general liability, or umbrella liability coverage.

Data Breach - What Are the Costs to Your Company?

If your company operates on the web this is only one exposure you face, and when I say "operate on the web" I don't mean being a technology company. Brick and mortar retailers, wholesalers, service companies, and manufacturers all may "operate on the web" if they have any sort of customer interface over the internet. If you exchange personal information of customers, take orders, or conduct commerce over the web you likely have this exposure. If you maintain databases of customers on a computer, server, or cloud (and who doesn't today) you also are exposed to hackers and unintentional leaks of data.

Firewalls, anti-virus software, and security technology are all good risk management tools, for operating on the web at any level, but so is proper risk transfer (insurance).

The majority of standard business owner's policies and package policies do not address the various exposures that the internet presents to any business operating on the web. Those policy forms were written in the "pre-internet" age and don't even contemplate the various exposures you have on the net. But, specialized forms are now available that specifically address these exposures on a portfolio basis - meaning that different coverage parts can be added, subtracted or customized to your specific needs. The best news is that "Cyber-Liability" policies as they are called, are not that expensive, compared to the relatively high cost, and high probability of loss that exists. Many experts today say it's not "IF" you'll experience a cyber liability claim, but "WHEN"!

With that thought in mind, let's think about the other insurance policies most business owners have - property insurance to protect their building and contents from a fire or theft, or other covered peril; general liability insurance to protect them from lawsuits for bodily injury or property damage; workers compensation as mandated by most state laws; auto insurance for their fleet of vehicles; and excess liability coverage, sometimes called an umbrella to provide "extra" liability coverage over their primary general and auto liability policies. How many fires does a business owner experience in their lifetime? How about liability claims for slip and falls?

I'm not saying that a business owner shouldn't protect these exposures; it's just a "given" that we must have these policies - it just makes sense to transfer the risk of a potential adverse financial loss (claim) to an insurance company. So if it's likely that your company WILL experience a data breach at some point in the future, doesn't it make sense to also transfer that risk to an insurance company? Especially since we know the likelihood of it happening and the costs associated with it?

I will cover the various coverage parts of the Cyber Liability policy forms in the next several posts for a better understanding of what's involved in this unique and need coverage form.

For more information related to Cyber coverage, Technology insurance, or general business insurance, please do contact us!

Data Breach - What Are the Costs to Your Company?

Gordon Coyle is the owner of The Coyle Group, a boutique commercial insurance brokerage and risk management consulting firm focused exclusively on the protection needs of business. With 30 years of experience and expertise, my goal is to work collaboratively with clients to: minimize risk, boost operational productivity, strengthen compliance, lower costs and improve profitability. Deploying a unique and diagnostic process that goes beyond just insurance we help mid-market businesses develop long term strategies to control risk that will positively impact corporate operations, employees, livelihoods and the future; all while lowering insurance premiums.

For more information, resources, white papers, and free reports, please visit my website: http://thecoylegroup.com
And my blog http://gordoncoyle.com.

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Friday, June 8, 2012

Cyberethics (Information System Ethics)

In order to examine ethical issues, it is first necessary to define ethics. Today, we regard ethics as a "rational process founded on certain principles." However, I believe a definition that is more applicable to this project is the ethical theory that existed in ancient Greece. There, ethics was the study of what was good for both the individual and society. We will look at some online issues and how they may be good and/or bad for society. Cyberethics is quite simply the study of ethics on the Internet.
"Ethics begins when elements within a moral system conflict."
Cyberethics is often called as Information System Ethics. Information System ethics can be defined as "The study of moral, legal, ethical issues involving the use of information and communication technologies"
There are many unique challenges we face in this age of information. They stem from the nature of information itself. Information is the means through which the mind expands and increases its capacity to achieve its goals, often as the result of an input from another mind. Thus, information forms the intellectual capital from which human beings craft their lives and secure dignity.

However, the building of intellectual capital is vulnerable in many ways. For example, people's intellectual capital is impaired whenever they lose their personal information without being compensated for it, when they are precluded access to information which is of value to them, when they have revealed information they hold intimate, or when they find out that the information upon which their living depends is in error. The social contract among people in the information age must deal with these threats to human dignity. The ethical issues involved are many and varied in Information System Ethics.

Cyber Law

Ethics is required in information Systems to overcome the following ethical issues.

Cyberethics (Information System Ethics)

Privacy: What information about one's self or one's associations must a person reveal to others, under what conditions and with what safeguards? What things can people keep to themselves and not be forced to reveal to others?

Accuracy: Who is responsible for the authenticity, fidelity and accuracy of information? Similarly, who is to be held accountable for errors in information and how is the injured party to be made whole?

Property: Who owns information? What are the just and fair prices for its exchange? Who owns the channels, especially the airways, through which information is transmitted? How should access to this scarce resource be allocated?

Accessibility: What information does a person or an organization have a right or a privilege to obtain, under what conditions and with what safeguards?

Information System ethics explores and evaluates:

o the development of moral values in the information field,

o the creation of new power structures in the information field, information myths,

o hidden contradictions and intentionality's in information theories and practices,

o the development of ethical conflicts in the information field. etc

Now let us take a look at privacy by the following examples. A few years ago, Florida lawmakers gave the go ahead to have monitors stationed in bathrooms at Tallahassee Community College to determine if the facilities were being underutilized. Students and faculty vehemently protested that the monitors violated their privacy. State officials said that the value of the information gained through the study was more important than the threat to privacy. Other issues like collection of private data of the users using internet by monitoring the traffic is strongly related to one's policy as that information can be further used for illegal purposes. These types of privacy issues are needed to be addressed properly so that they should not exploit one's freedom. One issue that I kept thinking about when I was constructing my Web page was whether it was ethical to lift an image from someone's home page and use it on my Web page without crediting the source. Such ethical issues come under property.

One reason that topics such as online gambling and pornography have become such firestorms of controversy in cyberspace is the simple fact that so many people have access to the Web sites. Simply put, if no one had access to online pornography no one would care. With this another issue "Censorship" comes which should be deal in efficient way as it is not easy to implement. Ethical issues can also be religious, moral or any other.These type of issues are not easy to deal with.

Similarly, let us take China into consideration on the issue of "Censorship". China has implemented the methods of censoring the internet that are somewhat harder to bypass for people generally unfamiliar with the way internet works. There is ,for example internet censorship as implemented in China--using a list of banned words that are censored on the fly. As users in china request a webpage , the incoming page is first inspected by government servers n blocked if a banned term such as "Democracy" is present. Human censors are also actively looking at what people browse on the internet, and block websites as they see fit.

Crimes on internet are also increasing in a continuous manner.Computer crime is a general term that embraces such crimes as phishing, credit card frauds, bank robbery, Industrial espionage, child porn, kidnapping children via chat rooms, scams, cyber terrorism, viruses, spam and so on. All such crimes are computer related and facilitated crimes. Many recent cases seen like Microsoft's website was brought down for a little time resulting in a huge loss to Microsoft. Similarly, NUST, one of the best considered university in Pakistan got Hacked and redirected to another domain. Credit card fraud have grown in an increasingly manner. Leakage of Military information from internet is another internet crime. Software known as google earth, which shows information about different places including military land or can lead to robbery planning, is becoming an ethical issue around the world. Many people protest against this leakage of information but still one can't deny that it is one of the major enhancements in Information Technology.

The question about how to police these crimes has already been constructed, but this task is turning out to be an uphill battle. Since the first computer crime law, the Counterfeit Access Device and Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1984, the governments have been trying to track down and stop online criminals. The FBI of different countries have tried many programs and investigations in order to deter Internet crime, like creating an online crime registry for employers .The reality is that Internet criminals are rarely caught. One reason is that hackers will use one computer in one country to hack another computer in another country. And that criminal isn't working alone. Loosely organized groups--which security experts call "Web gangs"--conduct much of the illegal activity online. The structure of Web gangs may be patterned on that of traditional organized crime, in which the members of the group may never come into contact with one another and may never be aware of who they are working for.

Conclusion:

We live in an exciting time in history. The widespread availability of computers and Internet connections provides unprecedented opportunities to communicate and learn. Unfortunately, although most people use the Internet as a powerful and beneficial tool for communication and education, some individuals exploit the power of the Internet for criminal or terrorist purposes.

We can minimize the harm that such individuals do by learning ourselves, and teaching young people, how to use the Internet safely and responsibly. The term "cyberethics" refers to a code of safe and responsible behavior for the Internet community. Practicing good cyberethics involves understanding the risks of harmful and illegal behavior online and learning how to protect ourselves, and other Internet users, from such behavior. It also involves teaching young people, who may not realize the potential for harm to themselves and others, how to use the Internet safely and responsibly.

Cyberethics (Information System Ethics)

Muhammad Bilal Azmat,
Operations Manager,
Koolmobile.
Phone:+923002122629

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Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Liability Insurance For the Self Employed

Self-employed individuals need to make liability insurance a priority in the twenty-first century. Today more than ever, individuals and corporations are eager to file even the most frivolous lawsuit against business owners they hold liable. The following article offers some general advice for protecting yourself, your assets, and your family as a business owner or self employed professional.

A liability is anything you or your company can be held responsible for in a court of law. If you do business in the public - as most of us do - you will need to think seriously about how you will go about insuring yourself against unexpected harm or the accusations of even your best customers.

Cyber Law

There are several options to consider here from general liability insurance, contractors liability insurance, and small business liability insurance. Depending upon your profession, you will want to choose the best coverage plan for your operation. A general contractor will have different considerations than a commercial real estate operator, for example. The options your premium includes will naturally depend upon what type of work you are doing on a regular basis.

Liability Insurance For the Self Employed

Retail operators - or any self employed who opens his or her doors to the general public - will also need to consider the possible claims that might arise with people making use of business facilities. If one of your customers slips and falls on the way to the bathroom, you could be held liable. If one of your employees develops an illness while on the job, you could be held liable. Of course, many employers manage to defend themselves successfully in court against ridiculous claims, but it is always better to be safe than sorry in the world of liability.

To find liability insurance, I highly recommend searching for providers online. Many quality liability coverage providers advertise on the web and offer very user friendly websites so you can get a free quote without much trouble. Be sure you provide accurate information when completing these quote forms to avoid sudden changes to your quote down the road.

Finding good insurance coverage for your business is an important step to take so invest a fair amount of time doing research and looking into different liability insurance companies before making a final decision. With so many tasks to accomplish as a self employed business owner, time can be limited. Still, this is an extremely important component for the future success of your endeavor.

Liability Insurance For the Self Employed

Read much more about self employed liability insurance at http://Self-Employed-Insurance-Help.com today.

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Monday, June 4, 2012

Teenage Suicides Caused by Cyber Bullying - Cyber Bullycide Victims

A book entitled "Bullycide: Death at Playtime" by Neil Marr and Tim Field states that a child commits suicide as a result of bullying (referred to as bullycide) once every half hour. It also says that over 19,000 children attempt suicide every year due to the direct result of bullying.

A large number of these are cyber bullycide victims.

Cyber Law

These victims are those children who suffer bullying attacks online. It is far more difficult to detect and therefore makes it difficult to intervene on the child's behalf.

Teenage Suicides Caused by Cyber Bullying - Cyber Bullycide Victims

It is found through surveys compiles by law enforcement agencies that one third of our children are victims of online bullying. One out of every three kids!

Unfortunately, the same survey shows us that only about 41 percent of those children who were victims never informed a parent, relative, teacher, or authority figure of the assault that took place.

Yes, I said assault! A cyber bully attack online can be devastating to a child. It only takes one occurrence to cause significant and long term effects that can affect your child's emotional well-being.

So just how do we counter such a danger to our children. The answers are not the same for each child or situation.

Obviously, bullying on the playground, school, neighborhood etc... can be controlled much more easily than the internet bullying that might take place.

This is because it will probably be observed by others and you will have a better chance of being made aware of the problem.

It will be much more difficult to take care of the problem if it occurs on the internet simply because it may be taking place and you have no idea what is going on.

There are some obvious tell-tale signs. The two most obvious are:

*Extreme depression, beyond the normal mood swings of children growing up, can definitely be a sign that you need to further investigate what is happening to your child.

*Extreme loss of self-esteem can also be a strong sign that some form of harassment or personal attacks are occurring in the form of bullying.

One thing for sure, if you notice either of the above symptoms, you need to take action immediately! You need to talk to your child and see what is going on.

If necessary do not hesitate to take them to a mental health professional for assistance in finding out why they are depressed or having self-esteem issues.

If we educate ourselves on the issues surrounding internet bullying and bullying we have a better chance of preventing teenage suicides caused by these dangers facing our children.

Teenage Suicides Caused by Cyber Bullying - Cyber Bullycide Victims

I have written a detailed report on the subject of Cyber Bullycide Victims

Please read it to find out how to protect your children from Cyber Bullying!

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Saturday, June 2, 2012

The Seduction of a Married Man

What is it about a married man that is so irresistible?

It must be something because so many women fall for it. Just this week I encountered two women who have slipped into the trap of fatal attraction for a married man. It is dangerous territory and I do not recommend that anyone go there. I speak from experience having invested part of my life in a relationship with a married man. Iam not writing about this subject to lecture or be judgmental or even to speak from my soapbox about what I know that you don't. My intention is to expose the underhanded tactics, even if unintentional, of men and the naiveté of women that permits these relationships to flower.

Cyber Law

What is it about women that make them susceptible to the charm and attraction of an unavailable man?

The Seduction of a Married Man

The unavailable man is very attractive to women who do not want to be controlled by a man. He can provide sporadic attention, sex, usually at regular intervals, definitely advice even when you don't ask for it and gifts. You don't have to live with him,which means no snoring, picking up after him, and usually freedom to comeand go as you please. The disadvantages include limited spontaneity,lack of availability on weekends and holidays and never being his number one priority.

This is not to say that men do not fall for married women. I am
certain that the statistics will support that almost as many single men fall for married women but the dynamic between themis much different than that of the single woman and the married man. Obviously, I have more experience with the married man syndrome.

Women in general are used to getting seconds.

What I mean by that is that women choose to settle for less than
what they want. Okay, I expect outrage from most of you who are
reading this but hear me out, please. In this country, men have the power. Look around you, how many women president's do we have? How many in the Senate, Congress, CEO's of Fortune 500 companies? How many women make as much money as men do? Consider teaching and nursing, two professions primarily occupied by women, what percentage of men are in the profession and what percentage ofthose are in charge? How many men choose to stay home with thchildren while their wives work and support the family? You get the idea. Granted there are many more women in positions of authority, in medicine, the law, entrepreneurs,real estate, finance, business than ever before, but if you are going to be honest with yourself, it's still a man's world. This is okay.

We can live with the fact that men run the world, because women run relationships.

Women, you really are in charge of relationship even if you don't know it. You just need to raise the bar a little on what youexpect from your relationship. What I mean by women being used to settling is they don't ask. Let me give you an example. A woman friend of mine works for a big company; she uses her own computer and pays for her own Internet access even though the majority of her computer usage is for her work activities. She has asked the men who run the company to be reimbursed for the cost of her computer andInternet access and has been denied. Her first inclination was to accept this, until she realized: How many men who use a computer in their job, use their own computer let alone pay for their Internet access? Men expect to be provided with the tools that they need to do their job, women provide their own tools and accept it when they are denied reimbursement. Where does this willingness to be used originate? I think that it originated when women first began to invade the workplace. Women weren't greeted with open arms when they first arrived in the workplace. In order to be accepted, they worked twice as hard, longer hours, tolerated abuse in many ways that a man never would and were eager to please, seeking approval and acceptance by over responding. (Actually, women were welcomed in the workplace during World War II but only because men weren't available. When the men returned, the women were expected to go back home where they belonged.)

Much of women's acceptance of second-class treatment is their own fault, because they don't even ask for it to be different.

Okay, I am a little off the subject of married men, but let me
follow this through to the connection. Let's look at a wife. The
majority of wives work these days, they also are the primary
childcare provider, and most of them do most of the housework and laundry and cooking and shopping as well. They are also expected by their husbands to be sexy and ready for a quickie at the drop of his pants. Women do all this because they put these standards on themselves. They still expect that they have to do more and do it better because they are women. So where does a woman cut back? Usually it is in paying attention to her husband's primary needs. A man needs sex and most married men will tell you that the amount of sex that they get dwindles after marriage and especially after children. In addition, the amount of time that a woman has to devote to the nurturing, acceptance, approval and attention to her husband decreases proportionately with the addition of children, job responsibilities and a bigger house.

So this leads us to the plight of the married man.

Who is the married man? First of all he is a man. Men are results oriented. Men have a lot of testosterone. They aren't good at deciphering what women want, especially their own wives.The married man used to run his own life. He came and went as he pleased; he watched or played baseball whenever he wanted. He lived his own lifestyle. He could have his woman withhim whenever hewanted and she would pay all of her attention to him. Now he is marriedwith a couple of kids, a mortgage, a job he has because it pays themost, not because he loves it so much and a wife who used to cater to him exclusively who now has to divide her time between him, the kids, the house and usually her job. There was a commercial on TV not too long ago that shows a man thinking about his studly single days and how sexy he was in those days, with a child in a stroller. He is playing with his child and shopping in the grocery store and a woman is talking to her friend who comments he doesn't even know how much more attractive he is now than he was when he was a stud.

Men are pretty unconscious about what makes them attractive.

According to most women it is not their looks that make them
attractive, it is who they are and how they produce in the world. So this married man goes to work and comes home and goes back to work the next day. At work there is this woman. She is single, attractive, smart, capable, speaks his language andsomeone who has time to pay attention to him. It starts as an innocent flirtation. What goes through his mind is something like "Let's see if I still have it!" so he starts flirting just to see what happens. Not a surprise, she responds to the flirting by flirting back.

This is the beginning of the affair.

In his mind he is flattered, it is fun, and exciting and just a
little bit naughty. What could be more harmless? I'm married.I'm
safe. I can just have a little fun with this. So it continues.He
thinks he can just experiment a little. Let's see how charming and creative I can be. Let's see if I can get this woman to fall for me. In his mind it is not cheating. He hasn't done anything wrong. In the beginning, he even tells his wife about this woman. He tells her about how smart she is or about some accomplishment, usuallywhat made him notice her in the firstplace. Wives usually miss the first clues. The thought of the effect of his harmless flirtation onthe single woman does not even enter his consciousness. So the harmless flirtation continues. It makes the married man feel good. He is happier at home and everything seems hunky dory. He tells the woman his wife doesn't understand him, she doesn't have time for him, or she just is cruel to him and the other woman becomes his confidant and starts to believe that he really has no choice in the matter. He needs her because his wife is so ... whatever.

He now has both a wife and family and a woman on the side.

Recognize that this process may take several years and several
different women before anything actually happens in the way of an
affair. After several years of living a separate life from his wife while they live under the same roof, a married man is ready for a real affair. The reality is that an affair will occur whether it is an emotional or physical affair or even a cyber affair. No matter which way it goes, what occurs takes away from the married relationship.

What is true about the woman who gets involved with a married man is that she is looking for attention and affection.

Most likely she is not looking for a married man with whom she is plotting to have an affair. There are a few predatory women out there who do just that but the majority of affairs start out
naively. She is likely to have been previously hurt in a
relationship. She may or may not know that the man is married. What occurs first is she recognizes that he is paying attention to her. He may just listen to her. It may just be a momentary encounter where their eyes meet and a connection is made. They may be working together on a project and either of them may distinguishthemselves in some way. What initially happens is likely to be chemistry. What happens after that varies, however, it usually follows this pattern.

When the woman discovers that he is married, she will make it clear that she doesn't have relationships with married men.

That is the signal for the man to go into conquest mode.

He will pursue her possibly for years because he enjoys the chase. She will continue to refuse his advances as long as she cantolerate it or until he catches her at a weak and vulnerable moment. If she has a good relationship in her life, chances areshe can outlast him, but if she is single, available or married and unhappy, she will eventually succumb. Why? Because the man is so charming, heis wonderful, he is a knight in shining armor, he is a hero, he is this wonderful dedicated family man who is wonderful with his children and attentive to his wife. So the woman asks herself what is she doing?

She continues to say no and the more she says no, the more
aggressive and charming and attentive he gets. This is the ultimate male challenge, to win over a woman who is saying no even though he knows she really is attracted to him.

A married man will work harder than any available man to make a
woman fall in love with him.

He will be more charming, loving, attentive and wonderful than a
woman can imagine that any man can be. So what happens next is this woman who finally surrenders to her feelings for this man, asks him to leave his wife for her. The response from him will almost inevitably be one of two, but I'm married and I'll neverleave my wife or yes, I'll leave my wife, but not yet (she's not ready,my children are too young, I can't afford it yet, my mother won't approve etc.) Initially the woman will respond with anger. "If you love your wife what are you doing with me?" Here is the clincher that finally hooks the woman, he is committed to his wife and the woman buys into his honorable dedication to his wife and thinks if only I could have a man who loves me like that.

It is at this point in their relationship that the woman's final act of settling may occur.

Either she will end it and go off to nurse her broken heart,
wondering how he could have been so wonderful and such a heel atthe same time, or she will continue the affair and settle forbeing the other woman in his life. Either way the woman is damaged. The man will go back to his wife who was either completely unaware of the romantic drama or who also chooses to settle by living in denial of his infidelity. Then life goes on.

The other woman plays a significant part in the perpetuation of this man's marriage.

She makes it tolerable for him to remain in an intolerable
situation. She makes it possible for him to remain in a marriage
that doesn't satisfy him. That marriage situation can range from
boredom to outright contempt, but a man won't leave his marriage
until his wife has dismissed him, either consciously or
unconsciously. She makes it possible for him to deny that there is anything missing in his relationship with his wife. Therefore, the wife wins, if you can call it winning to stay ina relationship with a cheating man.

The purpose in discussing this at all is to emphasize the fact that women settle and men will cheat because they can. So, women, if you want your man to be faithful, you must pay attention and never settle for less than what you want no matter what the cost.

The essence of marriage is commitment. Why get married if you are not willing to commit to loving someone exclusively? The way that I see it, you don't have to get married to be together, so why do it if you don't mean it? I was married for 23 years and was strongly in favor of the concept of a renewable marriage license, similar tohow one renews a driver's license. The point of that beingthat at least very 3 or 4 years people who were married to each otherwould have to take a look at whether they still wanted to be with their spouse. If people were honest about their feelings, it certainly would take a chunk out of the 50% divorce rate.

On a more serious note, however, I really don't see any point in
getting married unless you are marrying someone with whom youhave sexual chemistry that you love totally, that you trust implicitly, and that you would rather be with than anyone else who alsofeels the same about you. That feeling of total trust isvery rare and itneeds to be nurtured. It's also good if you have similar values and goals in life. If and when you find someone that meets all ofthe above standards, you probably couldn't imagine wanting to bewith anyone else. That spiritual bond can be so strong andso valid that it would be out of the realm of possibility to violate it.

It is impossible to ever have that kind of trust if you enter a
relationship that originated with someone cheating.

So what happens to destroy that original bond? It is the woman'sjob to provide the appetite for pleasure and the direction for therelationship. This does not relieve men of any responsibility for it is their job to surrender to their woman's power and to produce results for her based on what she requests. So, in a relationship that is working the woman must continue to raise the bar for her man and believe in him. What does that mean? That she wants a bigger house, more expensive car, more children? Not necessarily although thosethings may be part of the picture. What it does mean is that she raises the standards of paying attention even when life is busy. It means that they make time for sex even when they don't have time. It meansthat each one of them stay vulnerable with each other even whenhe/she has done something that embarrasses them or is wrong.

In my marriage, I did it all wrong. I doubted his production,
thought I could do things better than him and lost my ability to
believe in him. When that happened, he quit producing for me and we spiraled downward into total mistrust of each other and
unwillingness to be vulnerable. I kept settling for less than what I asked for and he kept producing only what I believed he could produce. I just didn't know any better.

It's a fragile bond that must be protected and as far as I can see what will protect the bond of love is a woman expressing her
appetite that requests more than the man thinks he can produce and then even more vital is that she approves of him and believes in him until he produces it. The most significant element of maintaining a love relationship that works is that both parties must pay attention to each other and to what is happening in the relationship. Going to doubt or settling for less than what she wants is the beginning of the destruction of the delicate balance of the man/woman relationship. In this model of relationship, men and women are regarded as different entities with different needs. It relies on using the sex act as the metaphor for relationship, symbolizing men as producers and women as receivers.

There are no victims.

The Seduction of a Married Man

Web site: http://www.gettingwhatyouwant.com Buy my book http://www.HowToGetWhatYouWantFromYourManAnytime.com Enroll in an e-course http://www.RomanceReentry.com e-mail me at Susan@gettingwhatyouwant.com

"I help people who want sacred intimacy in a hot relationship, get what they want from each other so that they can experience more fun, more sex and less bickering!"

Susan Sheppard Getting What You Want

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