How to Get Rid of Stalkers

What do you have to do to deal with a stalker?

First, be able to recognize one: identify stalker warning signs

Cyber Law

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1. Two common traits of stalkers are that they are intelligent and self-centered.

How to Get Rid of Stalkers

2. They are quite talented and dogged at tracking down the object of their warped affection, and they see nothing wrong in what they do.

3. No matter how strenuously you may reject a stalker, he will never surrender his notion that you will come to your senses, give in to his pursuit, and fall in love with him.

4. It is quite likely he has no friends; his only "relationship" is with you.

5. He is likely to have few, if any, social skills, tends to be a loner, and typically has low self-esteem; should you make the mistake of showing him some affection, rather than his accepting it, it is equally possible he will consider it a sham and accuse you of mocking him.

6. He can become angry and abusive in a flash.

7. Stalkers come in three flavors. There is the delusional type, also known as the erotomaniac, with whom you have never had a relationship and never will; the hangdog with whom you have broken up but who refuses to believe the affair is over, and the stalker intent on vengeance for the pain he believes you have caused him. Both the delusional stalker and the hangdog stalker have the potential to become vengeful stalkers.

There is a new computer-age variation on the vengeful stalker - the cyber-stalker. He operates much like the identity thief, messing on-line with your credit accounts, your financial records, changing your name in computer databases, and so on. But, unlike the identity thief, his intention is not to steal money from you (though he may) but to make your life more painful.

(Other vengeful stalkers might include people like disgruntled customers, road ragers, and others, such as the ex-employee who returns to a company from which he's been fired armed to the teeth and "goes postal" on his former bosses and co-workers. But most victims are stalked by people who think they're "in love" with them and possibly angry that they are rejecting them.)

Second, take action. Don't be passive, and for heaven's sake, don't encourage the fool.

If you are breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, make it quick and final. Don't drag things out. Make your last conversation absolutely your last conversation - do not talk to that person again.
Third, never assume that because a stalker has never been violent in the past he cannot be violent in the future.

Protect yourself against potential attack. How? Here are a few of the many things you can and should do:

1. Avoid leaving yourself open to attack. More and more, Web bloggers are inviting attacks by simply making their opinions known far and wide. People advertising themselves on personals services also run a risk. If you can't take precautions and you can't defend yourself from potential stalkers, you should go to great lengths to maintain anonymity.

2. Move away and keep your address a secret; get a postal box; un-list your phone number.

3. Get a dog. Train it to protect you on command and to be alert for intruders.

4. Learn self-defense. Carry Mace or pepper spray. Whether you choose to carry a gun is up to you and the laws of your community; however, carrying a firearm when you are untrained in its use or you are not prepared to actually kill your stalker leaves you open to having your own weapon turned on you.

5. Carry a cell phone with you at all times.

6. Never respond to a stalker's attentions, not even to shout at him; your attention, even negative attention, is all positive to him.

7. At work, have fellow employees screen your calls and visitors.

8. Think twice about obtaining a restraining order. Too often, it does little to protect you and only serves to infuriate the stalker.

9. Know the locations of police stations and all-night stores.

10. If you suspect you're being followed in your car, make four right or four left turns. If the car is still following you, head for the police station.

11. Join a psychological support group.

12. Install a security system and motion-sensitive outdoor lighting.

None of these things that fend off a stalker actually gets rid of him. That's virtually impossible. Even when imprisoned for making threats or carrying them out, the stalker can't be kept under lock and key forever unless he has murdered his prey. He is likely to be released from prison within five years and come out still intent upon getting his way... or his revenge.

Be aware that a stalker, even when not being a physical threat, can do a great deal of psychological damage. The majority of 100 stalking victims followed in a recent study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry had to make significant changes in their work habits or abandon their work altogether; they became far less socially active, and hunkered down in their homes. Anxiety, sleep disturbance, post traumatic stress disorder, and newly-developed substance abuse became common. The subjects felt powerless and depressed, and a quarter of the group actively considered suicide.

No, you generally can't get rid of a stalker. But you can, and should, as much as possible, take control of the situation. Defend yourself, do some research, connect with other victims, and do what you can to maintain your sanity.

How to Get Rid of Stalkers

Want to know more? You can read more tips on How to get rid of a Stalker, plus information to get rid of practically anything else that ails you - from bad breath to telemarketers to cellulite - at http://www.howtogetridofstuff.com

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